Experiments in co-creating and lifestyle design

I’ve been getting a lot of coaching from the wise-ones in my life lately–they’re all ganging up on my Ego and I say, thank you!

While I know I’m supposed to bypass my ego in some way, but knowing and doing are two different things.  But I’m starting to get the hang of it, starting from that day a few weeks ago when it was clear to me that my self doubt was not actually me, it was separate to me and I could choose to be influenced by it or not.

I like the way the Hindi language handles this–everything ‘comes’ to you rather than being expressed as ownership. So you would say ‘happiness is coming to me’ as a correct grammatical statement.

Anyway, I’d put forex trading aside when I was too embarrassed to take a loss and made a small one into a massive one. Then I convinced myself it wasn’t possible to trade successfully on my smaller trading bank.  Another Hindi word: Bakwaas! (Rubbish!) Anyway, having had my ego in check for a few days, it suddenly occured to me that I could try trading without my ego, as per the book ‘Zen in the Markets’ by Edward Allen Toppel, which my friend Tanja recommended to me last week.

So my new trading plan is to meditate/connect/centre myself before I trade, to use the mantras that there will always be a trade there for me when I want one and that finding a trade is easy for me.  I have a target of 25+ points per trade and once I’ve achieved it to finish and close the programme. This bypasses the greed of wanting more from the universal ATM machine

I’ve used this for the last two nights and managed to trade ego-free. I made 30 or so points the first night and around 50 the second night (I can’t be exact as my platform doesn’t retain the profit in points, only in $ after the trade is closed). What I will do is use it like video game levels, after a week of profit at 0.1% of a lot (a very, very small trade–literally profits of a few dollars) I will move to 0.2 for a week–but unless the week is profitable, I will not progress. I will not even look at the $ value of the profit, just focus on points. This should keep me free of ego and make the trades easier to execute. So far so good…

The trick will be to keep to this discipline–from all reports, it’s not easy to keep to a trading plan once you establish it. But I’m willing to learn!

Today I tried asking a question in meditation and then waiting for the answer and writing it down. I got the answer one word or two at a time and the word sat clearly by itself in the front of my mind, so it was easy to follow and also obvious that it wasn’t me as it wasn’t a whole thought at a time, it was like taking a very slow dictation.

Question:

Where and How should I launch Heirloom (Nilam’s textiles) in Brisbane for the best long-term results? (Context: I was considering in-home presentations vs inviting people to a single launch venue)…

Answer:

“Sitting on the fence will only bring forth new challenges, although better times await. Nilam said sell these first, so do it. Introduce yourself to interior designers but do not launch yet. Baby steps. That is all.”

Well, can’t get much clearer than that? Maybe try this method if you need an answer more specific than an Angel card can give you…

There was so much going on with wedding preparations (multiple ceremonies on multiple days, several glam functions and a house full of girls–have you ever  tried clothes shopping with twelve women and one changing room? It’s quite time consuming!

Anyway, the wedding gave me some time to mull over my fears and concerns and weigh them against the opportunity. One morning I woke up and had the pleasant feeling of being able to see my self doubt as external to myself. I got the briefest glimpse of it being ‘not me’.

That was enough to make me see that this was really a growth opportunity for me. Nilam is my inspiration as far as successful business people go–a self-made single mother who built multiple successful businesses all using her creativity, in such things as landscaping and interior design.

This time there were no dollar signs in my eyes, I’m not expecting to make lots of money  right away, but I know I want to  be successful in business, and Nilam is certainly someone I feel great learning from.

I will have to learn to control the self-doubt.

After ’sleeping on it”, I awoke feeling like I wanted some higher guidance. I love the I-ching-on-the-go app for my iPhone, it’s handy to have the wisdom of the ancients on call

Question: “What’s up with distributing Nilam’s Heirloom range in Australia?”

Answer:  (All Yang Lines) – Total Creative Power..

This is the highest yang energy, the primal directive that propels us into our destinies. Energies are intensely aligned for inspired creativity and forward movement. Persevere, work hard, play to your strengths. Success is assured.

…changing into…

(all Yin lines) – Total Receptivity

This is the highest Yin energy. Let the yielding and responsive quality of nature be your inspiration at this time. Be receptive, patient, humble and flexible. Follow the guidance of a wise leader while maintaining your sense of self-direction. Tremendous growth is possible.

Gee, I wonder if that could get any clearer? It looks like my self doubt is on notice…

I woke up to a deep and throaty roar–the surrounding mountains giving an extra 50% base and resonance to the regular sound of a thundering storm. Good morning, Kathmandu–I’d forgotten how much I love you!

My first night was in a beautiful house not far from Boudhnath stupa with a tomboy called Mo, who has manifested the, if not impossible, then highly improbable feat of creating an advertising agency with a soul and a social conscience–her company produces the community service advertising and promotional materials for NGOs and their projects. Go Mo!

Mo is Nilam’s best friend, and due to a ‘house full’ situation, I’ve stayed last night at Mo’s. I’m in Kathmandu for Nilam’s daughter Anisha’s wedding. I haven’t seen Nilam or been back to Kathmandu for eight years, but Nilam is one of those people I call Soul Friends–she was as happy to see me as I was to see her, it felt like coming to a second home. (And a grand one, at that!)

Her business, Heirloom, is doing really well–in addition to their showroom in Kathmandu, which sells exclusively by word of mouth to the city’s elite, both Nepalese and expats, they’ve opened a retail store in Bangalore, which Anisha currently manages.  Over lunch when I arrived, Nilam could barely contain her excitement to show me what she’d done since I was last here–she was just starting to put a showroom together then–she’s working a lot with natural fibres, pashmina, silk and hemp, as well as traditional Nepalese cotton dhaka weaving. It’s all hand woven, hand spun homewares of the most delicious kind. She combines this with her impeccable eye for interior decoration to create a home now dubbed the Pande Hyatt

Nilam asked me how I like my new job…so I told her how I really want to be in business and that as an employee of a company I have little respect for, I feel like my soul is dying a little more each day.

“Why don’t you open your own shop?” she said, just like that. As if it was done every day (!) [well maybe it is, but not by me]. She told me that she’s had requests to show her work in a gallery in New York and that several Europeans have approached her, begging to let them distribute her products there. I have no doubt of it–I could see her pieces holding their own in both quality and style in Paris or Milan, Amsterdam or Stockholm.

But she refused. She said it’s not the money but the heart. She said that so much love is poured into each piece, she only wants to work with someone who understands that heart and who will put the same love into the process.  She wants to work with someone she loves and trusts–who knew it would be lil ol’ me?

Well, frankly, Francis. He predicted before I even got on the plane that the chances of Nilam and I being together again and something magical beyond the wedding happening were pretty high. But I must admit that I was reluctant.

I thought this year’s learning was going to be about discipline, patience and organic growth. But it looks like there’s something else to be conquered even before we get there–self doubt.

Eight years ago I worked with Nilam, as she managed the manufacture of my embroidered silk bed linen and supervised the making of my custom super-sized hand loom. I had the samples and the fabric. I had some orders as well but I didn’t manage to get things off the ground back here in Australia. The shop I put stock in on consignment in Bondi Beach closed down and it took three months to get my stock back, and no other shops would order up front either, only on consignment.  And so it fizzled out, despite the fact that the stock was well liked. I sold the samples and went back to work.

Have you ever felt like life was spiralling around, bringing you back to try something again in order to complete and perfect it?

There are so many things in my life started and dropped before they are profitable, that I’ve been losing enthusiasm for even starting anything new. I knew that Heirloom was profitable and was sure it would be profitable in Australia, but would it be profitable with me.   Instead of feeling ‘magical’, I was riddled with fear and self-doubt. I needed to think.

Well I haven’t had another weekend free for Kitesurfing since my last post,  but I did manage to find something else fun to keep me occupied. I completed the property course which was great, and then three days later I flew to Kathmandu…

I’ve booked my first ever Kitesurfing lesson for this weekend.

Tanja’s going to have a go too, so that will be fun!

Let’s see if this is enough to change my perspective. I’m certainly harnessing the power of at least two elements–wind and water…

UPDATE: The reason there are no photos with this post is that when Tanja and I rolled up on the glorious Sunday morning, it was all together too glorious for kitesurfing. There was not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind–as a rank newbie, I’d not even thought of manifesting appropriate weather! I’ll know now for next time…

Ok, so I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. I still think it was a hangover from the paint stripper and metho I was using on Monday–applying to my kitchen hutch, not drinking it–it wasn’t that much of a meltdown!

You know how some days, everything seems possible, the sky is the limit, nothing can stop you. And then other days, you think, “What the hell was I thinking? I must have been completely mad!”. That was yesterday. I got completely overwhelmed and realised I didn’t know exactly what I wanted my life to look like: what is the trigger for ‘yes we can go back to the UK’, what properties do I want to have and where–if the goal is Ealing Broadway, that’s one thing, if it’s rural Wales, it’s another, and I just couldn’t see the path ahead to get there. Not clearly.

Last week I could! Last week I found a cracker of a property deal, but as soon as I put a signed contract to the vendor, they took it off the market. Crap. That deal would have made more equity than my annual salary (and then some) inside of six months. It was one of those ‘deals of a lifetime’ which apparently come along every week–but it was the first time I’d seen one. I think I’ve been a bit flat since that one ‘that got away’.

So I bought a pack of the Sonia Choquette ‘Ask your Guides’ cards last week, and yesterday I asked for guidance about fitting everything in. I got the card “Denial”–which apparently is not a river in Egypt, but is a message for me to stop pretending I can do everything I’m trying to do, effectively.

The guides followed up today with a card called “Priorities” which exhorted me to realise that for every new thing I want to take on, I need to be able to let something go. Uh huh. I get the ‘concept’. But putting that into practice is a whole other thing.

I realise I’m upset because I haven’t really allowed myself any me-time, which is why I was working on the kitchen hutch on Monday. I promised myself when I came back to Australia, that I’d try kitesurfing, but I didn’t do anything about it. Strike one. I bought a sewing machine so I can make a cover for the ottoman, but I haven’t even bought the fabric. Strike 2. And there are so many others there’s no point in listing them. I’ve just been very driven, but because I can’t see the end, I’ve not been letting up and playing.

Francis has been driving me crazy with his Taoist ways, telling me “Doing is not the Way”. I just don’t get Taoism. How can Doing not be the way? How can Not Doing get me anywhere?  But I am willing to admit that Doing isn’t really good for my mental health. So maybe another way is worth a try. But I’d have to put a time limit on it, so I don’t waste too much time Not Doing, if it doesn’t in fact achieve anything.

For starters, I’m going to try discarding (ie. Not Doing) at least one action per day I would otherwise have done. Today it’s going to an Open House, which I would have done just for ‘market research’ purposes. But to get to it, I had to start early and skip my lunch break (ie. again have no fun). So I’m not going. I’m going to have a lunch break instead. It’s not quite enough. I don’t feel better yet. Ugh. Bloody Taoists.

Addendum: Five minutes later I received the following link from my very own Bloody Taoist. I asked if he’d read my blog and that’s why he sent it.  “No,” he said, “It was just a sudden impulse that came over me a few minutes before I sent it to you.”  There you have it–I can tell you all about Not Doing without knowing or writing anything myself. So here it is, the low-down on Wu Wei straight from Wikipedia.

You know the old adage, ” To know and not to do is not to know”. Well there’s so much I don’t know as I only know it intellectually. Sometimes it takes some extrinsic motivation, otherwise known as pressure, to cause a breakthrough to resistance to put what I know into practice. This week I have had a breakthrough in action doing something I have “KNOWN” to do since about 2005–BUT HAVE NEVER DONE.

I have to say it feels pretty damn fabulous on this side of the breakthrough. The context for my breakthrough has been a programme of property mentoring by Nhan Nguyen. For anyone who’s done extensive Landmark Education training, it’s kinda like ILP for Property–it aims to get you out of your comfort zone within seconds and keep you there.

Well, one bit of homework for week one was–”Submit an offer for a property on a standard purchase contract” (which we were shown how to use). I balked. One bit of the homework for week two was–”Submit an offer for a property on a standard purchase contract”. Getting the hint that this might be a theme? I procrastinated for three whole weeks (as did most of the class, except for the two guys who are already property developers).

Then last week we got hauled over the coals and our ‘procrastination’ was revealed as fear–well duh, like I didn’t get that from how my hand shook as I tried to fill out the form in week 1–then left it incomplete and unsent.

So I decided this week to take on the fear–to look it in the eye and then not let it stop me. I decided to try to chunk it down to make it less scary. This will sound weird–but I took the contract, which has WARNING and lots of fine print written for approximately 14 pages, and took out the bits I actually need to fill out–and it’s only three pages. Monster is already smaller.

I made a cheat sheet from my notes about what we’re meant to fill in (and what we’re meant to leave blank) so that I can refer to it each time I fill out a form–this takes care of the shaking hands. I made multiple copies of the ‘Annex A’ which I need to attach to each offer, as it has conditions that will let me wriggle out (ie. subject to due diligence), should I not want to go ahead with the purchase. This gives the freedom to offer low on multiple properties, knowing you don’t have to buy them all–very important!

And then I decided to make action steps:  Photocopy this. Scan that. Fill out this. Sign that. Email with attachment x. I had to do that to get through the irrational fear. But I did it. So I created the game of not only doing the offer I had to do for homework this week, but doing enough to make up for the three previous weeks of procrastination. So I did. I put in four written contracts (two yesterday and two today) for 20% below market value on properties that I think I could add value to, and asked them to get back to me with the vendor’s acceptance or rejection by Monday at 5.00pm.

I am now going to take on the challenge of doing 10 per week (two per day, which I can do in my lunch break). How’s that for smashing through fear–I love it! I have so much more energy now, it feels great.

I have another homework task to do, so I’ll tell you about that one when I’ve done it–it’s not so scary though, because it’s more about finding a deal–which I find fun. But then I have to pitch it to a bunch of investors on Monday night–so I’d better get cracking!

Just an update on yesterday’s Property Options seminar with Mark Ralton.

My intention going into the seminar was to come out with a Property Option document that I could use to get started.

Soon into his presentation, Mark said he was giving away three copies of a Property Option document. I took a moment and ‘connected’, affirming that I would be one of the three.

Then I listened for the cue–and at 11am he said he wanted three volunteers. I put my hand up straight away and started moving towards the front–with velocity but not trampling people There were about 15 people doing the same thing, but sure enough he picked me as one of the three. I got to role play being the Option holder and walking away with a (pretend) big cheque for $700k profit after doing a really good deal.

My prize for participating was a properly drafted Property Option document worth approx $7000 if drawn up by a good solicitor.

The funny thing was that I was more excited that I manifested my goal than about the document But it will definitely come in handy.

I’m off to research where I can best use it!